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Why I Don’t Give a Shite if You’re Offended

offendedThis is a guest post by Jennifer Bones.

Writing great headlines can be challenging. But today, creating catchy titles is the cornerstone of any blog’s success. The worst mistake you can make is to wanker-out when writing your headlines. Let me explain.

Recently I published a post entitled Forgiving Your Child’s Killer. It got a lot of great comments and discussion…what every blogger hopes for…and it even compelled a few people to email me directly.

One person wanted to let me know that she enjoyed the post and had recommended it to some friends. However these friends were unwilling to click on the link because they assumed the content would be too upsetting.

She suggested I “tone down” the title so the post’s message would reach more people.

This woman emailed me because my words moved her and she cared about their message. Truly a huge accolade for any writer. That said, I disagree with her. Here’s why:

The Truth About Headlines

1. Getting Their Attention

Years ago, all a blogger had to do was create a headline around her target keyword. Headlines were written to get the attention of search engines. We treated our titles like the SEO fodder they were, rarely worrying about the human reader.

Today, thanks to the dawn of social media, we have a much bigger challenge: To get the attention of real, live people who are exposed to a never-ending stream of information.

We’ve become used to the fact that we only have the blink of an eye to capture the attention of new visitors to our sites. The same is true for promoting your posts on social media…except subtract a few milliseconds.

2. Keeping Their Attention

The real job of any headline is to get the reader to read the next line. That’s it. It’s not meant to explain what the next line is about or to summarize the content of the article…it is simply to get them to read the first line of your article.

This is critical to understand.

One of the people who commented on the post in question said they had seen the post’s title on Facebook and had come over to my site fully prepared to disagree with me. After reading the post, they could not.

My headline was a success. It made it impossible for this person not to click on the link and read the first line. After that, it becomes the content’s job to keep their attention.

3. Perfect People Filtration

A killer headline can also serve as a perfect people filter. That is to say, it excludes those who may not be a good fit for your blog’s personality.

One of the things I know for certain about my perfect people is that they are not easily upset or offended.

I talk about silly things on my blog like purple panties and magic cats, but I also talk about some touchy topics like sexual abuse and my nervous breakdown.

So if I “toned down” this particular post’s title to avoid offending certain people, it wouldn’t take long before I upset them about something else. And then something else. And then everyone ends up disappointed.

What’s your approach to creating kick ass titles? What’s worked? What hasn’t? Please share your thoughts below.

About the Author: I’m Jenny B, proud owner, operator and resident witch of Up Your Impact Factor where we explore the spells, rituals and potions of building a business online. Tweet up with me on Twitter, subscribe to the Spice Up Your Shite newsletter or just stop by to say hi!

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44 Responses to Why I Don’t Give a Shite if You’re Offended
  1. Silver Magpies
    August 31, 2011 | 3:59 pm

    Jenny – I read the headline in Michael’s email and thought “I bet that’s a guest post by Jenny”. :)

    • JennyBBones
      August 31, 2011 | 5:01 pm

      Nan, I love you. You have no idea how happy that just made me. 

    • Michael Martine
      August 31, 2011 | 9:48 pm

      I get guest post submissions all the time from people whose writing is indistinguishable from any other “how to blog and make monies online” bullshit. You could switch their names around in the bylines and it wouldn’t matter.

      If you remove the author’s name and you can still tell who wrote it, that’s a win. That’s what you call voice. And it means you’re writing is distinctive and most likely Not Boring.

      And Nancy, you just proved to everyone why that’s so important.

  2. Anonymous
    August 31, 2011 | 4:34 pm

    What I really like about this post is that you advise to write headlines for human readers first. More often than not it seems, the advice is to get keywords in as much as possible rather than getting really creative which  might mean not having any at all. That’s how most of mine end up. That being said, I would be interested to know how SEO/using keywords fits into your headline strategy if at all.

    The advice about using headlines as a filter for who might or might not be interested is also a new twist on the speak to a target audience concept. I’ve always looked at headlines from the attention attracting perspective, but using them to help people who aren’t a god fit for you to say “no thanks” does make sense. Not necessarily an easy thing to accomplish, and potentially a bit scary at first to show that kind of take it or leave it side of oneself. But as you said, when it’s done right, the connections are truer and will likely last longer.

    • JennyBBones
      August 31, 2011 | 5:08 pm

      My SEO strategy for titles is this: If I can include a keyword in the title naturally, I sometimes (although rarely) will. 

      What I DO use the keyword for is in the “Search engine title” (I use Yoast’s SEO plug-in for WP…. and WP All-in-One SEO is another good one.)The plug-in allows me to define a separate title for the search engines. But you still have to take care and make it a human-friendly title as well.I’ll also often include the keyword in the URL of the post to give it some added SEO juice. 

      Michael might have some more advice on this, too (he’s the resident expert and I love his brains) *stares at Michael*

      • Michael Martine
        August 31, 2011 | 5:51 pm

        My brains feel so… looked at. ;) I have some thoughts and I’ll post them as a full comment rather than a reply.

    • Michael Martine
      August 31, 2011 | 9:54 pm

      SEO and good writing is not an either/or proposition, as I have said many times in the past. Most people aren’t good enough writers or search optimizers to reach that particular level of Nirvana, however. 

      It takes knowledge and skill in both to be able to do it (I make no claims on it, myself, other than I strive to achieve both simultaneously).

  3. Peter Crowell
    August 31, 2011 | 4:46 pm

    It was truly an effective headline. It churned me up and drove me forward to read the post. And I found myself unable to comment because of the inner commotion it caused.

    I’m the father of a 2-year old. The thought of his death is abhorrent. The thought of his murder is blinding.

    Definitely an effective headline. And a truly necessary post. The question of forgiveness cannot be probed too deeply.

    But I would venture to say that it was also effective for those people who felt repelled by it and read no further. It churned them up. It put a question in front of them and required a response.

    It made them face something in themselves.

    The fact that they did not read the post is irrelevant. They were not ready to move beyond the question.

    But they encountered it. And that’s all that can be asked of them for now.

    At that moment they were your perfect people. Maybe even more so than your most avid readers.

    And your headline was tailor-made just for them.

    Effective indeed.

    • JennyBBones
      August 31, 2011 | 5:12 pm

      “The fact that they did not read the post is irrelevant. They were not ready to move beyond the question.”

      Precisely. It’s such a tough issue, so many emotional hot-buttons. 

      Why send out a sweet and innocent invitation to a conversation that may prove to be deeply upsetting? It’s like inviting you to a tea party where I neglect to mention we’ll all be naked….or something like that.

      • Peter Crowell
        August 31, 2011 | 5:19 pm

        Naked tea party? Yes, you should mention that in the invite.

        (And you may have the makings of another headline, there.)

        • JennyBBones
          August 31, 2011 | 6:57 pm

          …already jotting some ideas down. Susie’s going to throw a *very* fun party methinks LOL

          • Michael Martine
            August 31, 2011 | 9:55 pm

            You seriously want to rank number one in Google for “naked tea party.”

  4. Michael Martine
    August 31, 2011 | 5:58 pm

    I actually wasn’t crazy about that headline, but not because of any notion of being offended. I wasn’t crazy about it because it was not immediately and unmistakably relevant to the target audience. 

    You could argue that in the context of your own email list your audience would assume it’s relevant to their needs as online business people, but as soon as anyone shares it, the context is gone and the headline gets clicks only because of the anticipated emotional impact. 

    Sugarman is right, the job of the headline is to get the click (I paraphrased, there), but headlines have to be relevant to the target and I’m not sure that yours is. If it was something like “What Forgiving Your Child’s Killer has to do with Succeeding in Business” (and that’s a crude top-of-mind attempt) then you would’ve nailed it: relevance and an irresistible hook.

    The truth is that I almost rejected this guest post. However, I know Jennifer better than to think she did anything less than slave over that headline. And I like to have differing viewpoints on here, so I decided to let it fly and figured we could discuss in the comments.Because, you know… that’s what comments are for.

    • JennyBBones
      August 31, 2011 | 6:06 pm

      Thank you so much for your thoughts, Michael. I totally hear what you’re saying.

      And you’re right, you know me well. I labored over that title. I really did. At first I thought as you did, that the title should be somehow connected to my keywords/niche/target market. And that I was being sensational not to take that route. 

      But honestly, that route felt less genuine. I didn’t want to belittle this inspiring story by calling it “business advice.” Because for me, the title held a dual message….forgiving your child’s killer in the very literal sense of that amazing Amish father; and forgiving ourselves on a daily basis for killing our own babies….our creations. 

      We turn our backs on, and sometimes destroy, our ideas constantly. Then we beat ourselves up about it. We make peace with ourselves and begin creating once again…only to wake up the next morning not caring. THEN we feel terrible that we have to keep facing the same bullshit over and over again. An endless self-feeding cycle of self-abuse in its worst form. 

      It’s not until we begin to forgive ourselves and give ourselves permission to approach this “struggle” or “battle” or “challenge” every. f’n. day. with a renewed commitment to making the best decisions we can possibly make that this cycle is broken. 

      This is not simply a discussion about ‘building your business’ and I wasn’t about to name it that.  It deserved the title, and I gave that much thoughtful consideration.

      And the emotional pull of the title itself led to many people reading the message in that man’s story who would never have noticed it otherwise. It got a reaction, both positive and negative. But it got a reaction. People really thought about the issues and shared their thoughts with total honesty. Exciting! 

      Based on that post’s response, I think Sugarman would be proud. You just have to get them to read the next line…and then the next…and the next. That’s just good writing, no matter what the genre or subject matter.

      • JennyBBones
        August 31, 2011 | 6:10 pm

        PS: I *adore* you for posting this in spite of your disagreeing with certain aspects of the piece. It really speaks to who you are as a thought leader…and how you value your community’s ability to have open discussions on controversial topics. Thank you, Michael. 

      • Michael Martine
        August 31, 2011 | 10:03 pm

        You’re right, it is bigger than “just business,” and if I can stop being Mr. Jaded Cynical Marketing Man for one fucking minute, then I can see and agree with why you did it that way. 

        And for the sake of full disclosure, Jenny and I already had parts of this conversation in private before I published the post after I expressed concern with her about it.

        Which was why there was NO WAY IN HELL I was gonna edit or rewrite her headline for this guest post. ;)

    • Anonymous
      August 31, 2011 | 9:07 pm

      This brings up another angle to the discussion then. How often/when can biz bloggers stray from our “target topic” to let people know us a little better as a real person? Or how about including something that’s just fun or inspirational just because, to take a break from “normal’?

      • Michael Martine
        August 31, 2011 | 10:08 pm

        The short answer: as often as you feel like it.

        The slightly more complicated and mysterious answer: the content you create creates your audience. Who do you want visiting your site and what do you want them to know about you? 

        From a business perspective, you want leads and sales. You want customers and clients. From the perspective of being Human, you like working with some kinds of people over others. Does your content bring them? If not, then you’re writing the wrong stuff for the wrong people.

    • Tami Smith
      September 1, 2011 | 4:32 pm

      ok…you really know how to draw me out! I’m going to have to write a full post about this topic. It has been on my to do list for awhile now. I’ll submit as a guest post and see if you accept! 

  5. BillM
    August 31, 2011 | 10:20 pm

    I am wondering when the craft of writing took on the robes of the entertainer? Isn’t it much easier to have the goods instead of streaking across the playing field (you have my attention now!) and only then trying to slip in a little content? I think you underestimate your audience and risk insulting them when you preferentially engage their emotions. The offense comes when you do so without permission.

    I’ll suggest more calories in your writing and fewer bite-sized portions. A post can be worthwhile, even sans bullet points, call-backs and other trickery. Insight matters. Depth matters. Shoot for beauty, not water-cooler toss offs. You won’t get as many eyes that way, but you’ll get more minds.

    Will I remember I read this post tomorrow?

    • Michael Martine
      August 31, 2011 | 10:53 pm

      I’m picturing you as Russell Crowe in Gladiator: “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?”

      I agree with you in principle, but I disagree if you are saying that Jenny’s headlines and writing are comparable to “streaking across the playing field” instead of having “the goods.” We all have our opinions, of course, but mine is very much that she does have the goods. 

      Bullet points are no more trickery than are paragraphs, block quotes, headlines or any other text formatting and are not related in the slightest to a lack of depth in the writing. A good writer knows when it’s appropriate to use them.

      Finally, I find this just bizarre: “The offense comes when you do so without permission.” There is no permission to give or have at all.

      • BillM
        September 1, 2011 | 1:07 am

        Excellent. That reply has heft, tone, humanity and bite. It’s got conflict, human interest, opinion. Good stuff. Didn’t need profanity or a headline, just a strong, well expressed point of view. Kudos.

        You, my friend, read like a writer.

  6. Anonymous
    August 31, 2011 | 11:26 pm

    Great conversation! Thank you both Jenny & Michael for such helpful answers.

  7. Courtney Cantrell
    September 1, 2011 | 12:24 am

    Jenny, your third point really hits home with me. It’s easy to think that if my headline (or something in my blog, for that matter) turns someone off, that means I need to change it. Maybe that really is the case sometimes — but it really is a good indicator of who is not my target audience. It’s kind of like Twitter? If someone unfollows me, they weren’t my niche anyway. And we’re both probably happier if neither of us tries to wedge them into my niche.

    Michael, thanks for having Jenny over. : )

    • Michael Martine
      September 1, 2011 | 12:37 am

      It’s truly the grand paradox of online marketing: the more narrowly you define and segment your audience, the bigger and more engaged of an audience you will have.

  8. Cathie
    September 1, 2011 | 1:31 pm

    This is a great blog post, easy to read, informative, inspiring…I’m going to try and write better headlines!! Lol

  9. Post
    September 1, 2011 | 2:08 pm

    Excellent points. I didnt take headlines so seriously, but surely I do now!

    • Michael Martine
      September 1, 2011 | 6:46 pm

      The headline is the most important part of your post. If it doesn’t get people to read the post, what was the point of writing it?

  10. Tim Brownson
    September 1, 2011 | 3:41 pm

    When I wrote my post 7 Reasons Not to Meditate I had two people complain the title was misleading and one said “I expected better from you Tim” I replied

    “The purpose of the title was to promote interest because that is how
    blog posts get read. And if they don’t get read then I can’t help spread
    what I like to think is useful information.

    I make no apologies for using a title like that, I have done so in the past and I will again in the future.

    Lower your expectations of me, you don’t even know me ;-)

    So yeh, that’s my way of saying I agree.

    • Michael Martine
      September 1, 2011 | 6:48 pm

      That’s hilarious. I picture Bugs Bunny saying, “He don’t know me very well, do he?” As if that was even the first headline like that you ever wrote!

    • JennyBBones
      September 4, 2011 | 5:25 pm

      LOL I love that Tim, thank you. Although mine would read “Lower your expectations of me, you know how I am already!”

      • Laura Olney
        September 4, 2011 | 10:02 pm

        Something along the line of “my friends are the people who know me and love me anyway…”

        Titles are extremely important.  As an adjunct professor, I even make my students put titles on their paragraph-writing exercises and read the title before they share their paragraphs.  If the title is “boring” I dip my head, and they laugh and try to think of something more fun!

        • JennyBBones
          September 4, 2011 | 10:05 pm

          ~smiles~ Precisely! 

          And it’s nice to hear that a qualified teacher of the craft is in agreement. My prof certainly nailed it into our heads and I like to think he’d be proud of me today :)

  11. Linda Eaves
    September 3, 2011 | 3:19 pm

    Excellent dahling… we shall have to riff about keywords sometime. The subject looks like a deep sparkly lake – full of many selections. The articles I write are life experience driven. When I’m out and about shopping I’ll snap a picture of a crazy food display which inspires me to write about how it impacted me. I like to speak on a range of topics too, and yep – I’m not easily offended. After I write the article I’ll go down a few paragraphs to find the hook and use that as a title. My titles are longish and have a thinking “pattern interrupt” element to them. Things that make you say, Wait. What? This is a great post Jenny, well articulated as usual.

    • JennyBBones
      September 4, 2011 | 5:23 pm

      Yes, let’s talk keywords soon. You know where to find me (most of the time anyway lol).

      The “pattern interrupt” is a great way to grab someone’s attention. Good addition to the list!

      Thanks so much, gorgeous!

  12. Andy
    September 5, 2011 | 4:55 pm

    What a read, most popular blog/news sites get me to read their rss by having a kick ass title:>

  13. Harrisburg PA DJ
    September 8, 2011 | 4:34 am

    YES YES YES YES YES, Too many people now a days think we should try to be nice and not offend.  My viewpoint is, I will not try to offend someone on purpose but I will also not go out of my way to not offend, I wish the world worked like this.

    • Michael Martine
      September 8, 2011 | 5:10 am

      That’s a great attitude to have and I wish there’d be more of it in the world, myself.

  14. Mamaro
    September 8, 2011 | 7:12 am

    Your article is very interesting. I too have learned that you can not make everyone happy.  Not everyone will like you or what you write about.  Sometimes you just have to write the way you feel and hope that others understand. Great read!!

  15. Jimmy
    September 8, 2011 | 12:17 pm

    Totally agree that ‘shock value’ is a great tool!

  16. SEO Cheltenham
    September 19, 2011 | 6:18 pm

    Michael – I’m loving the tone and style of your blog. Very addicted!

    I’m new to the art of blogging and I know the benefits it brings from a search perspective but I was wondering if you could lend an expert eye and see if I could improve on my writing style or blog functionality??

    http://www.opiyo.co.uk/online-marketing-seo-social-media-blog/

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