We have many personal gaps in our lives:
- There is a gap between what we intended to do and what we did.
- There is a gap between who we are now and who we wish we were.
- There is a gap between what we tell others to do and what we do.
- There is a gap between what we say and what we mean.
- There is a gap between how we see ourselves and how others see us.
It seems natural to want to close those gaps, because we silly humans love closure. But we can’t close these gaps. Not completely. You may be able to cut down on your own hypocrisy, for example, but you will never eliminate the gap between how you see yourself and how others see you.
Dwelling on these gaps creates stress, but it seems we’d rather experience the stress because without it we don’t feel normal. Like we’re addicted to our stress. Like that stress has become part of our self identity and if we lose it we lose who we are. Trying to be something better than we are creates another gap to cross…
When you learn to ride a bicycle or ski (or snowboard) a good teacher will tell you: don’t look at the trees, or you’ll run right into them. Look at where you want to be. And that works like magic… for riding a bike or a snowboard. But what about online business?
How do we narrow these gaps? Should we try to narrow them? How do we not beat ourselves up over our own perceived failures? I’ve noticed people tend to assume that everyone else has their shit together (but when surveyed, the majority believe they are above average).
I don’t mind saying these are things I struggle with. What about you, and how do you deal with it? Maybe we can all help each other. I look forward to your comments.