Most people wonder from time to time if they’re doing the right thing with their lives (whatever that means). For me, this is an acute, chronic condition that just never goes away. If I’m not twisting in the nether, I’m not awake. And when I sleep my dreams are often of being lost in a huge labyrinthine basement filled with ducts and plumbing (make of that what you will).
I have this belief that at some point I will have Found What I’m Looking For (cue U2 music). It’s a belief because there’s no rational basis for it at all whatsoever but I continue to act as if it were true even though I consciously know better.
There are many ideas and ideals at (conflicting) play here:
- Do what you love and the money will follow.
- Do what you’re good at better than anyone else.
- Find a specific group of people who have a problem you are uniquely suited to solve and offer them the solution they seek.
- Enjoying life doesn’t mean working 24/7.
- Enjoying what you do to earn a living isn’t actually “work.”
- Everyone will be known for something after they’re gone, so what is it I want to be known for?
- Is it better to aspire to greatness or to enjoy life?
- If I hate to do something I will procrastinate until the end of time if I can get away with it.
- In the new world of internet business, where blogging, social media, and email are your main avenues of communication, personality/personableness/authenticity rule.
- I suck at following my own advice.
As I’ve been running Remarkablogger over the years (since the summer of ’07) I’ve made some changes based on many of the above ideals. For example, I don’t do blog designs anymore. Seriously, I would rather work at a checkout lane in a grocery store. I have the skills and the talent but I’m not cut out to deal with people when it comes to this kind of work. I don’t want to do what people tell me, I want to tell them what to do!
Teaching, training, coaching, and writing are what I’m very good at and also enjoy. I always feel jazzed after helping a client over the phone or doing a webinar. Writing and making videos are also easy for me and I’m good at them. If you believe in natural talent, then I guess those are mine.
But over the past few months, I have seriously questioned everything and found a sudden distaste for things I did regularly, like writing blog posts, being on Twitter, promoting affiliate products, or even creating my own products. I grew to hate, hate, hate, hate my inbox. I unsubscribed from newsletters left and right. I have well over one thousand ignored feeds in my reader.
I actually hate sports, but I think a sports analogy works perfectly here: it was like being a pro basketball player and suddenly questioning the game itself. Think back to what happened when Michael Jordan decided what he really wanted to do was play baseball. Yeah, that didn’t go so well. And by the way, I’m not comparing myself to Michael Jordan like I’m so great or anything, he’s just the only example I can think of that parallels what I’m experiencing.
Destiny sounds like a big deal, but I don’t think it is. I think destiny is pretty mundane stuff, actually. The problem is that destiny often seems to conflict with these notions we hold so dear of doing what we want or love to do.
If I wasn’t doing Remarkablogger, what would I rather be doing?
I have asked myself that question a million times in the past couple months, and you know what?
I have no idea. There are simply other things I’m good at which I could be doing, but they do not “call to me” as it were, and I could not take them up and earn a living from them in a short amount of time.
And what is destiny, anyway? In one sense, it’s a predetermined outcome, sort of like the idea of fate. I don’t believe in predetermination in that sense, nor in Predetermination, either, if you know what I mean. I’m working with the other definition of destiny:
fortune: your overall circumstances or condition in life (including everything that happens to you)
All the choices I’ve made in my life and the circumstances of my life combined have brought me to this point, like a train on a track. And the train’s gonna keep going.
So Now What?
Well, I’m not exactly sure, but I can tell you that the writing here will become a little more personal because I’ve decided let you into my head instead of just “teaching at you.” This is what is so different about how we do things online compared to the past. It’s a cliche that the medium is the message but like all cliches it’s perfectly true, and of course what is a blog at its core but an “online diary.”
What kind of online diary? Well, it will probably read and feel a lot like this post to begin with, but who knows how it will evolve. Like I said in the headline, this post has no point. Blogging and online business is what I do, and it’s a really big part of who I am. It’s not some slick marketing persona or facade I put on, it’s the real me: the guy who sleeps in late, has a messy office, and plays Warcraft too much.
But damn if he isn’t working from home and making money online and has a knack for helping you do it, too (ok, enough with the 2nd person weirdness).
It has become my place in life (my destiny, if you will) to help other people figure this stuff out, and every time I speak with someone and the light bulb comes on over their heads, that destiny is confirmed.
If you’re running an online business, too, then your destiny may easily be linked to mine. I hope you’ll join me, but just remember we really have no idea where we’re going.